Jane Rahmy

Photo by Jane Rahmy

From time to time we all get that feeling. You know the one where you just want to crawl in bed into the fetal position or sprawl out on the couch and watch 12 hours of some mildly entertaining yet concurrently mind-numbing show like The Bachelor rather than having to go out into the world and face your problems head on. Moments like that can feel self-defeating, frustrating, and downright depressing.

I get it. I basically hid for nearly two years when I lived in Los Angels and refused to face my fears as I became increasingly aware my career as an actress was not working out, and I may have indeed made a huge mistake moving to the west coast. Eventually I wised up and got the hell out of Dodge.

But you don’t have to move across the country or even to another city to start feeling better and more motivated. You just need to remember a few truths when you just want to hide that will help you come out to play in the world again.

Fear is a Friend

A few years ago John Mayer wrote the lyric, “Fear is a friend who’s misunderstood” in his song, The Heart of Life. I have to concur with Mr. Mayer and say thanks. I hadn’t thought about fear that way before I heard his song.

Fear has a habit of creeping in and  screaming demands your face. “Who do you think you are? You should stop now and play it safe!” These kinds of thoughts don’t seem very “friendly” and if you take them to heart without actually digging into the context behind them, they can stop you. Fear becomes your enemy and then your enemy wins. But if you think of fear as a friend, or a coach, who is there to push you and motivate you to get out of your comfort zone and into the world of the unknown, you can embrace fear and use it to work towards your goals.

You Can Change Your State in a Heartbeat

Last week I wrote about my time at Tony Robbin’s seminar Unleash the Power Within. I mentioned that one of the biggest takeaways for me from my weekend with him in Chicago was the idea that we can change our state in a second. This was indeed new news for someone who tends to air on the side of emotion. In other words, I cannot, nor have I ever been able to hide my emotions. Knowing this about myself, the thought that I could go from a negative, disempowering mood to a positive, energized one in an instant was a big deal.

If you are feeling down, do something different. Go for a walk, take yourself out for yummy meal, or start dancing in the middle of your living room (my personal favorite). The point is to do something other than what you do when you sulk and listen to the thoughts in your head that are making you feel like poop.

This, Too, Will Pass

In chapter 8 of his book, A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle tells us that all moments are fleeting. Bad or good they are here for a second, and then they are gone. I tend to say this, too, will pass to myself now whenever I find that I’m feeling extraordinary happy or intensely sad. Not because I don’t want to enjoy the good times or ignore the bad times but because I want to train myself to be unattached to situations. This way I can enjoy the good moments without expectation and remind myself that the bad moments won’t last forever.

The World is Waiting for You

I know from personal experience that when you start following your dreams and you get so clear on your purpose that you can’t imagine doing anything else, life can be really scary. The idea of creating something big, something that could impact hundreds or even thousands of people can become overwhelming and leave you paralyzed.

When this happens, remind yourself that your talents and your purpose are not yours alone. They belong to the world. {Tweet it!}

If you do not follow through with what you are creating, the world will not have it. You will cut off your chance to help people and you will not be a part of benevolent change. 

Hiding from your dreams is just plain selfish and mean. Do you want to be selfish and mean with your gifts? Me neither. So the next time you feel like you can’t do it, whatever it is, remember I told you you can.