My partner Bud and I making “our move.”

A few weeks ago I attended Tony Robbin’s four day seminar, Unleash the Power Within. My ticket was gifted to me by my dear friend, Cherie, who had already been twice and knew I would enjoy it.

In the months leading up to the seminar, Cherie and I spoke every couple of weeks. I would ask her about her experiences at UTPW, and we would talk about the business I had just begun to create. Cherie would listen excitedly often stopping me to say, “That’s something Tony would say!”

The fact that I was saying the same kinds of things Tony Robbins would say, even though I had never read a book of his or watched his videos, was my first sign my business was on the right track. The second sign was the manifest of the actual ticket. “That ticket was meant for you, Brooke. You were always supposed to have it!” she told me. Once it was offered to me, all I needed to do was accept.

One thing I was struggling to accept? The Firewalk.

I am not a fan of excruciating pain and the thought of it on my feet wasn’t exactly motivating. As the start of the seminar approached, I became more and more nervous. Then I made the mistake of telling my mom about it. (Quick piece of advice—Don’t tell your parents you are about to walk across hot coals or skydive or whatever. 99% of the time, unless you have the most open and adventurous parents in the world, this is a bad idea.) As expected my mom flipped out. Then she flipped me out. The fear was now palpable. Could I actually confront fear this time?

However, I subscribe to the notion that courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is taking action in spite of our fears. {Tweet it!}

As it turned out, Tony spent a great deal of time on this very topic. And as he prepared us to Firewalk that first evening, he reminded us to focus on what we want (getting to the other side of those coals) rather than what we don’t want (to end up in the hospital with third or even second degree burns).

A large part of this preparation dealt with our state. Are you in a state of paralysis and dread or a state of excitement and power? We learned that night, and over the next three days, that you can change your state, “in a heartbeat.” The other piece of the preparation, which I think is just as important, was the pairing of each participant in the seminar with a partner. Each partner encouraged the other every step of the way. I’ll admit I drew a lucky card. My partner, Bud, had done the Firewalk four times. There was no way he was letting me get out of doing it. And even as I walked up to the coals, still scared and shaking a bit, I heard his voice behind me along with the others who had already completed the walk, cheering me on. Before I knew it I was across! That night, I went back up to my hotel room invigorated and ready to take on whatever fear presented itself to me next.

The Tony Robbins Firewalk is just one method to allow you to confront your fear. You don’t have to go to a Tony Robbin’s event or set up hot coals in your backyard to Firewalk. You can Firewalk at your job, or in another country, or with your partner or family—you can Firewalk anywhere or in any situation where you are afraid.

We all should take a Firewalk once and a while, if only to remind us that we still fear something, can confront fear and are therefore still alive.

The following are four simple components to help you confront fear. Take them with you wherever and whenever you need a little courage.

Talk to someone who has confronted fear before.

The fear of the unknown is often more powerful than the actual thing you think you fear. When you talk it through with someone who has gone before you, you begin to realize it is not as impossible or scary as you thought.

Visualize what you want, not what you don’t want.

I used to think visualization was absurd until I actually tried it. When you visualize something you want, your confidence increases dramatically. Allow yourself the see what it will look like after you confront your fear. Feel what you will feel. Think what you will think.

Change your state.

Practice managing your thoughts and emotions. Figure out the things that put you in a happy state and the things that put you in a sad state. Overtime you’ll learn to instantly shift yourself into a higher, more powerful state of consciousness, which will allow you to effectively confront your fears.

Get a partner or coach.

Accountability and support partners can help you overcome any last minute doubt and confirm you are indeed in the right state and frame of mind. A good partner won’t let you go until you are ready but also won’t let you pretend you are not ready.

Practice these four things and I promise you’ll start to see just how very courageous and resilient you really are. Here’s to kicking some major fear based ass.